he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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