the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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