i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
