I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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