i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize