There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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