Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
