You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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