How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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