but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize