You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
