I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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