dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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