I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
