honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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