I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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