I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize