i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
