You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
