We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize