Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
