So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
