Me. At least after what I've been through.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
