Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
