So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
