either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
