which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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