I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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