God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
