I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
