if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
