mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
