We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just invented taco cereal.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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