dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
