i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
