If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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