Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
