Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
