I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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