I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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