I want to make a zoo with you.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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