thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Holy sore nipples Batman
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
