I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
