i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
