Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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