She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
