I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
