I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
