hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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