Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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