She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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