if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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