i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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