You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
