I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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