I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
