He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
