Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
