Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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