The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
