Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
