id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
