This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
