i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
