After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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