But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
