where am i from again
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
