somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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