nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
