At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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