WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
