His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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