Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
