I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
