You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
