Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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