Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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