she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
